i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....