bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji