Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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(707): last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll. http://tfl.nu/u5mu

Replies (34) Good night (5261) Bad night (862)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

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(864): We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us. http://tfl.nu/xmtc

Replies (20) Good night (1076) Bad night (6152)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.

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(203): she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously. http://tfl.nu/54qd

Replies (29) Good night (695) Bad night (5940)
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(607): View more from New York

you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY

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(607): you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY http://tfl.nu/h6do

Replies (47) Good night (3225) Bad night (14625)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

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(610): The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/0qxf

Replies (19) Good night (2954) Bad night (5922)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night

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(803): Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night http://tfl.nu/ewza

Replies (9) Good night (1230) Bad night (6417)
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(303): View more from Colorado

She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.

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(303): She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it. http://tfl.nu/nwdc

Replies (6) Good night (2909) Bad night (931)
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(714): View more from California

I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay

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(714): I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay http://tfl.nu/rji9

Replies (4) Good night (2141) Bad night (1256)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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(651): She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations. http://tfl.nu/80vt

Replies (8) Good night (3383) Bad night (794)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.

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(860): Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves. http://tfl.nu/jaio

Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (358)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.

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(520): Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties. http://tfl.nu/5b50

Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (347)
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(813): View more from Florida

Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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(813): Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner http://tfl.nu/zbhu

Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (313)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Swish.

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(774): Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car. (508): Swish. http://tfl.nu/6xy2

Replies (8) Good night (763) Bad night (463)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it

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(267): I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it http://tfl.nu/ro1j

Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (292)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.

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(870): I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college. http://tfl.nu/y415

Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (250)

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