when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
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