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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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• (268): View more from Antigua/Barbuda-Carib

  she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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• (518): View more from New York

  He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out

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• (813): View more from Florida

  He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me

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• (916): View more from California

  Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.

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• (925): View more from California

  I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches

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