let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
