Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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