when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
