omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
