the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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