I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
