I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
