So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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