Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
