Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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