bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
