Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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