It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
