We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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