You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize