oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
