Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's shark week go big or go home
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
