I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
