Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize