im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
