he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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