and you said cock pushups were impossible
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
