I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
