They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
