As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
