I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize