there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Randomize
