we're blogging at a bar
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
