Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
