I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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