There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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