also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
