This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
