Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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