And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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