You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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