I don't usually arrange sex via text message
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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