Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
