she was so not down for the gang bang
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
