Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
