I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
