Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
