Little spoons don't ask big questions
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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