you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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