ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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