I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i think i just lost a toe
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
