I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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