Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
