I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
