found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
smell my finger.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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