"it" just moved
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
