about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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