What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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