NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
