have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
