the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I want to fling myself into the sun
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
