matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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